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Author Topic: Aquaria-based story  (Read 43578 times)

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Offline Zoko

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Re: Aquaria-based story
« Reply #15 on: May 24, 2010, 11:59:38 pm »
It's nice to see some Aquaria related fiction coming up. Keep it going, Wizard.  :)
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Offline WiZaRDuSS

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Re: Aquaria-based story
« Reply #16 on: May 25, 2010, 12:11:15 am »
It's awesome to know that quite a lot of people are interested in my writing. It pushes me to continue on it, and to keep trying more diverse ways of saying what I want to say.

Offline Lady-Succubus

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Re: Aquaria-based story
« Reply #17 on: May 25, 2010, 03:20:01 am »
Or finding the right way to say what you want to say, you mean. :3
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Offline WiZaRDuSS

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Re: Aquaria-based story
« Reply #18 on: May 26, 2010, 03:35:56 pm »
And here we go, another part to add to the story :) I hope you guys like it :)

She was awed by the beauty of this environment. When an orange fish with bright yellow stripes swum by she grabbed onto it, letting the fish drag her around. The water was flowing through her hair, following the curves of her body. She never before went through the water with such speed, no other sea creature she knew about had the ability to swim this fast. While swimming near the edges, leaves tickling her belly, she ran her hands through the plants, caressing them, feeling their texture. For a while she forgot what she came here for, and was pointlessly swimming around, enjoying every second of it. Then a single plant caught her eye, different from the others, far more beautiful. It shone a light prettier than any she had ever seen. Around the shiny bulb grew the most wonderful flower, it’s leaves seemed like they contained hundreds of colors, all equally beautiful. It was following the motions of the flowing water, slowly going from left to right. It was a simply enchanting view, one that urged her to come closer, and touch the shiny bulb. Slowly she swum closer to the plant, she couldn’t help but staring at its infinite beauty. As if everything moved in slow-motion, she moved her hand toward the bulb. It felt like it was made of the softest material she’d ever touched. But at the same time, the feeling she had was familiar, stored deep inside her. After a while, the light started to fade, and she felt stronger, something flowed through her now.
This feeling, it’s… familiar, as if I’ve felt this many times before. But there has never been a plant like this where I lived. This plant is the first step towards discovering my past, I must look for more plants like these. It feels too good to simply ignore it and think of it as if it was nothing.
Encouraged by this warm and tender feeling she was reminded of what she had to do, there was no time dawdling in this new place she’d discovered. She had to go on, and find out what was causing the trouble in her home waters. Once again she swum through the cave, though this time, looking for an exit between the vegetation. Simply trying to spot one from a distance wasn’t going to help, she had to go through the plants, searching the very cave walls which were hidden behind them. After an hour of searching the dark walls by hand, she found an exit big enough to let her through.

Offline Echolocating

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Re: Aquaria-based story
« Reply #19 on: May 26, 2010, 08:30:06 pm »
Awesome, possum! I'm liking this a lot.  :)

I know I've been pretty critical before, but I can't find any major issues. Just be careful about overusing the same words though (especially the same adjective and noun combinations) and keep your sentences a little more concise. Other than that, I can't wait for more.  ;D

Are you going to start a thread for your story? ...or are you still gathering feedback on your writing?

Offline WiZaRDuSS

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Re: Aquaria-based story
« Reply #20 on: May 26, 2010, 10:53:47 pm »
I'm not really looking for feedback anymore, and from this point on I will probably just post my story here, or maybe in another thread if people would like that, where I'd just post the parts of the story on its own, and direct people here for feedback and comments, to keep it easier to read.. Just let me know what you guys would prefer.
I'm also posting this story on a blog for those who'd like to read it there.

Offline Lady-Succubus

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Re: Aquaria-based story
« Reply #21 on: May 26, 2010, 11:36:45 pm »
You should reverse the order of your blog so that your first post appears first, if possible.
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Offline WiZaRDuSS

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Re: Aquaria-based story
« Reply #22 on: May 26, 2010, 11:41:24 pm »
I noticed that issue, but I don't have a clue as to how I can change the order :P

Offline Echolocating

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Re: Aquaria-based story
« Reply #23 on: May 26, 2010, 11:42:22 pm »
I like your blog. I think that's a great way for people to read it in it's entirety. I recommend putting a link to your blog with every story post to give people a choice.

Offline Lady-Succubus

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Re: Aquaria-based story
« Reply #24 on: May 26, 2010, 11:42:37 pm »
I noticed that issue, but I don't have a clue as to how I can change the order :P

Ah... well.. some other blogging platforms let you do that. :/
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Offline WiZaRDuSS

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Re: Aquaria-based story
« Reply #25 on: May 26, 2010, 11:57:09 pm »
Any examples? Might as well change, I just googled for blog and this was the first hit, at least, the first decent one.

Offline Xiagan

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Re: Aquaria-based story
« Reply #26 on: May 27, 2010, 08:23:19 am »
You should reverse the order of your blog so that your first post appears first, if possible.

I noticed that issue, but I don't have a clue as to how I can change the order :P

Well, most blogs are about being up-to-dateness, so new post mostly go to first place... Dunno if there are customizable blogs where that's not the case...
I use wordpress ( http://shortfictions.wordpress.com/ ), but dunno if it's the best. Will try to find out if it's customizable like you need it.
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Offline Lady-Succubus

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Re: Aquaria-based story
« Reply #27 on: May 27, 2010, 08:26:01 am »
I think Wordpress has that option, right, xiagan?

I like Wordpress the most though, since it's open source and they let people self host the blogs, and they have a very powerful and versatile theming system. I think all the big blogs out there use it, actually. :3
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Offline WiZaRDuSS

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Re: Aquaria-based story
« Reply #28 on: May 27, 2010, 11:28:54 am »
Wordpress blog options are pretty much the same as those from blog.com, though when posting you have less options to adjust your text.

EDIT: I found a way around the normal chronological order, I just had to adjust the date of the blogs. Though, if anyone knows a blog where it is a possibility to show the oldest posts first, let me know :)
« Last Edit: May 27, 2010, 05:33:04 pm by WiZaRDuSS »

Offline Lady-Succubus

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Re: Aquaria-based story
« Reply #29 on: May 28, 2010, 09:24:55 am »
Self hosted wordpress blogs let you do just about anything though. xD
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