I know I'm probably interrupting something here, but I thought of something to say about myself.
I figure the best way to formally introduce myself is to just tell the truth about why I decided to join in the first place. So, here goes nothing.
I've been interested in computers for almost all of my short life. I loved using them for various things, especially video games, but now I'm beginning to realize that just using them isn't going to help me out at all.
After becoming more familiar with computers and video games, I began to contemplate becoming a video game designer, as many people probably do. I started out by taking a couple of basic summer courses on the subject, and as a result I was introduced to Game Maker. I played around with it for quite a while, but after a couple of years I decided, with some pushing from my dad, to move on to something more complex. I picked up a C++ primer and began to read it. I was incredibly interested at first, but after a while I began to lose my motivation. I never made it past pointers, arrays, and fuctions.
Then, after a couple of years, I managed to get a book from the library that specifically dealt with programming games in C++. I became excited, because I thought it would help me see the connection between programming and video games, especially since I had failed to comprehend how console-based programming would help me understand anything about modern computing, which in turn led to my lack of motivation. The book failed to teach me that much, however. It turned out that the book didn't mention certain key files that the provided compiler required. Destitute, I tried to search the Internet on how to fix the problem, but any help I did find was vaguely explained and unofficial. I eventually had to return the book, and in the end, I just gave up.
That was a few months ago, and this is where Aquaria comes in.
Two weeks ago, I was browsing an online gaming site when, in an update, I found a link to this website. Being curious, I clicked on it, and after a few minutes I was enthralled.
I'll admit it, the fact that the game's main character was an anthropomorphic sea creature wearing a strangely-designed one piece swimsuit threw me off at first, but when I actually began to read more into the game itself, I was spellbound. The amount of effort put into the game and the unique philosophy behind it: where emphasis is placed on discovery and self-realization, was fantastically intriguing. As I nervously searched for more, I was filled with wonder and excitement. However, I also felt terrible.
The entire experience awakened me to a concept I had been so foolishly blind to. Alec, Derek, and Jenna had put their heart and soul into something incredible, and in the meantime I had been a lazy idiot. Instead of becoming determined about learning, I had danced around the edges and given up when it became too hard. I was weak-minded, and the fact that it could be too late ate me up inside. I desperately tried to compensate for the time I had wasted by trying to finish the first C++ book I had gotten, as well as getting new ones, but I then realized something else. What would be the point of all this if I was just going to lose my motivation again?
That's why I came here. I figured it would be a long shot, but I'm going to try anyway. From what I could tell, the regulars here are friendly, and I figured that in addition to eventually getting the game and discussing it, I could also find some direction. I want to be able to continue the ideals of these great developers (without, of course, copying them), but I'm still held up because I'm an okay-but-not-great artist, I can't write songs or make music, I don't have a fancy-pants Animation Editor, etc.
I'm not asking Alec, Derek or anyone else to "take me under their wing", and I'm not posting something enormous in order to impress people. Either of those would be incredibly selfish and rude, and I'm fully aware that there's no chance I'm going to impress anyone with this long-winded essay (also, it's very obvious that I need a thesaurus). The very thought of doing either of those things disgusts me. What I'm (barely) hoping for is just some advice: What books I should read? What classes I should take? Heck, I'd even be ecstatic knowing if learning how to create video games is even possible for me with all the time I've wasted (even asking for this seems unbearably selfish and rude). I'm just tired of being knocked around between the positives and negatives of everything. And of course, I'd like to eventually purchase the game, discuss it, and have fun.
So, to summarize, I'm Michael. I'm short, shy, not very brave, and ambitious.
And if you're not interested, I humbly apologize for wasting time, space, and bandwith. I'm just going to sit in the corner, stick my fingers in my ears, and wait for the eventual explosion.
Oh, and one more thing: I'd like to say that I find Naija (and I suppose as a result, Jenna Sharpe) to be very intimidating, albeit in a subtle sort of way. And that's why I haven't played the demo yet.
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